quelquefois

Yesterday, the WSJ posted an article called “An Expat’s Exotica.” It basically contends that expat havens such as Beijing and Shanghai are no longer considered “exotic” by Western standards because so many Westerners now live there and because these cities can now accommodate the familiar Western lifestyle. The author exalts those who veer off the beaten path, living in exotic places such as Changsha, Hunan or Wuhan, Hubei. He highlights a woman named Janie Corum, who is “pioneering the vast region for American businesses, striving to create a more comfortable environment (emphasis added),” paving the way for Westerners to discover China’s “remote corners.”

This is the most ridiculous piece of journalism I have encountered in a while. That people still label countries (or parts of countries) as “exotic” is beyond me. Granted, much of Asia is still a mystery to many Westerners, but that is no excuse to call a culture exotic.* If anything, it a) just proliferates the need among Westerners to “understand” a supposedly mysterious and remote culture by infiltrating or dominating a foreign civilization (a la imperialism, colonialism), and b) perpetuates the notion of “Orientalism,” a European concept invented to label Asia as a place of exoticism, romance, and ancient mystique (see, for example, Edward Said’s Orientalism).

While there is a need to understand different cultures, and while a great way to understanding those cultures is to immerse yourself within it, it is not acceptable to frame those cultures as “the other,” something so profoundly new and in contrast to ordinary Western customs. The colonialistic/taming-the-exotic-for-the-West actions that follow this mindset that this article suggests we (as Westerners) do should not be spread, but countered.

Any thoughts, comments, critiques, counter-arguments welcome.

*I admit, Chinese people also exotify Westerners to some extent. To many Chinese, they are all blonde-haired, blue-eyed moneyed beauties. However, in my experience I have yet to encounter a Chinese person who has wanted to explore the free West and debunk their mysterious, rich, contemporary lifestyle.

I really don’t know where some of my ideas come from. For example, in order to keep from growing a resistance to medicine’s effectiveness and subjecting my body to unnatural chemicals, I have adopted the take-if-you-really-need-it approach to medicine. It’s as if my taking a few days or weeks of medicine will change human DNA for generations to come. But seriously, it’s not a bad idea, right?

But recently, I have found that bad things (be it sickness, bruises, or men) don’t go away by themselves. I thought I could trust my body or time to heal blemishes and wounds, but I was wrong.

I. Sickness
Last winter in Harbin, I made my third trip to one hospital (fourth trip overall) after the doctor made me take a CAT scan and a breathing test. I was suffering from breathing problems. She told me that I needed to spend at least one week living in the hospital to get medicine administered via IV for my sickness. Excuse me, what? Are you just trying to milk me for my money? I refused to pay exuberant amounts of money for something that can be solved without needles.

Upon arriving in Beijing, I saw a special Ears, Nose, and Throat doctor at a private hospital. He reviewed the x-rays, CAT scans, and breathing tests from Harbin and said, simply, “You have bronchitis and sinusitis.” Was it really that easy? How come my disease was a complete mystery in Harbin? Then, upon taking three weeks of antibiotic prescriptions and starting antihistamines on a daily basis, I was almost back to normal.

II. Bruises
In November, I went snowboarding and, not realizing that snow in China (did I say snow? I meant ice) is nothing like the snow at Lake Tahoe, bruised my knees pretty badly. In fact, in retrospect I’m pretty sure that I had ruptured a blood vessel. I left it alone and hoped that, like all bruises, it would improve with time. However, last week, there had been no noticeable improvement in my legs. In fact, the bruise had spread to other parts of my leg.

In December, I went to a special doctor that deals with fracture wounds. They deemed nothing wrong with me, warned me to be more careful, and stuck a smelly herbal compound they created on my knee, told me to keep it on for five days, and that was that. The bruise faded, and the swelling subsided.

III. Men
Men (and women) also don’t go away without medicine. Sometimes that medicine is “ignore” or truth (e.g., “No, I do not want to be your girlfriend.”).

So, I have learned that medicine–be it a [smelly] homemade Chinese herbal remedy or a dose of truth–can do lengths, and there are certain circumstances when they are welcome saviors to dire situations.

I am notoriously bad at writing about events when they are relevant. But hey, at least it’s still April (barely). On April 1, I called my mom and told her that I was recently released from prison, and had to leave the country within 7 days. To say the least, she believed me and started to worry. Eventually, I said in a shaky voice, “可能是 (Perhaps it’s)。。。是因为 (it’s because)。。。APRIL FOOLS!”

She screamed at me, and later told me that her legs were shaking for me, because she knows that something like that could actually happen. Last year, I did something similar, when I told her that I joined the Army and would be deployed to Iraq after I graduate. I know, it’s cruel. I’ll think of something less nerve racking next year, even though she told me she wouldn’t fall for anything next year. We’ll see.

But my mom made a good point the following day: that things like this are possible. It was a stark reminder to indeed watch out for what I say and write.

Please do not lean against and touch pieces of artwork in museums. Seriously? Come on. Do you have any respect? Would you want to spend months/years on a report and then have some person piss all over it? Yeah, that’s what it’s like.

The culprits

Sincerely,
Girl who would kick your ass if you touched her artwork

Don’t tell me you have a photo contest that “should have creative composition” and then once I submit them, tell me that my photos are too “抽象” (chou1 xiang4, abstract). And don’t go even further and tell me that the winner will have 2 or more students in it. If you told me you wanted Asian-style group photos, you could have just said so, and I wouldn’t have wasted all my time post-processing my photos.

I want all my photos back. You cannot use them as propaganda for your crappy program.

Sincerely,
A artistic girl in an unartistic country

Exercise your right. Vote today.

People must be really disappointed when they type search terms such as:

“male masseuse” china
harbin china massage male
masseuses beijing
massuese ass massage

into Google and Yahoo and find my website. Sorry, I really can’t help you guys there (can you at least learn to spell “masseuse” right?). But if you’re looking for witty banter about identity crises, health problems, and food? Now we’re talking.

Usually in the States, when the stoplight is broken, cars stop at the intersection as if there was a stop sign. Not in China. If anything, it roughly translates into, “There’s no traffic signal denoting cross-traffic and pedestrian crossings, so speed up!” When you try to cross (even when there is a crosswalk), it’s as though you are in their way. They honk and flash their high beams as they zoom past. Would any of them dare to actually hit us?  To test this theory out, a few friends and I attempted to cross. Crossing Running for your life as buses and aggressive taxis speed toward you is not advised.

I apparently always have hair in my face. Important people always tell me so:

“Your hair is in the middle of your face which is really…throwing me off.” – Ambassador Richard Holbrooke

“Didn’t your parents tell you to keep your hair out of your face?!” – Professor Mark Morosse

This is very true, here are just a few documented circumstances of hair-in-the-face. Let’s take a look:

(last photo taken by Nic)

Maybe it’s an insecurity thing?

1. Must have clean and cut nails. This includes both fingers and toes. It’s unquestionably one of the first things I look for.