We live in a pretty upscale building, and I have made it my goal to befriend the security guard, named ??? (Yang Yuanyi), who works from 3 p.m. until 11 p.m. every day of the week. He stands all afternoon and evening, because he is not allowed to sit. A draft usually pours through the double doors as residents flow in and out, drenching the first floor with a bone-chilling cold. He wears an oversized guard coat and guard hat, that, despite his young age and the obvious ill-fitting, still manage to look incredibly flattering on him. While his co-workers wear sneakers, he even has sleek black shoes to match his outfit.

One evening, Julia and I baked brownies and brought them down with glasses of milk to share with him. He responded that he could not eat, so he just drank the milk. Our conversations always fall dead after a few minutes, not from running out of things to say to each other, just because it gets so awkward that it becomes too uncomfortable to continue. We left two pieces of brownies with him, though we never knew if he liked them. He never said anything.

* * *

Most of the time I speak to him, he is so shy he cannot even look me in the eye. One day we were talking, and he asked if I’ve ever been to ???–Forbidden City. I replied no, and Julia and I proposed we all go together sometime. I gave him my phone number and we started to text each other. I told him we wanted to play with him. From what I got in his text, he seemed happy, excited, even.

The next morning I received a call asking if we’d like to go to a market. I hadn’t woken up by then, and neither had Julia. We declined.

The guards who went to the market got in trouble. They weren’t supposed to freely walk around, even though they weren’t working at the time. I deeply regretted turning him down that morning.

* * *

He’s a different person in his texts, on the phone. His voice is more animated and he speaks with confidence. His texts are more truthful than anything he ever says to me face-to-face.

Yang: ???? (Potatoes and cabbage)
Me: ?????????(Is that your favorite dish?)
Yang: ??????????????????????????(No, they are two of my most hated vegetables, because I only eat these two things every day)
Me: ??????????? (One day we’ll eat different dishes together)
Yang: ????????????? (Okay! I hope I can wait until that day)

Julia, Yang, and myself after setting off sparklers for the Lunar New Year (25 January 2009)

About to set off more fireworks (30 January 2009)

* * *

Our friendship has, relatively speaking, grown leaps and bounds since the last week of January. Yang (and a few of his co-workers) has been up to our apartment a few times, and stayed for a while to watch TV or log on to QQ (a chat program similar to MSN or gchat)–a luxury they haven’t been able to enjoy. They’ve eaten curry, rice, northeastern Chinese sausages, and dumplings at our place. We even try to hang out after they get off work at 11 p.m. by making plans to go to the local noodle stand and eat a steaming bowl of ??? ?dao xiao mian, knife-shaved noodles).

* * *

He’s clearly unhappy, and it’s readily apparent in his expressions and texts. He can’t do anything; he’s sheltered in a small living community when there’s the whole world to discover. He’s leaving on the 15th to go to home before he finds another job in the south.

I wish him the best. I hope he finds happiness.

Me: (points out bright green and red pleather material) Let’s be Mario and Luigi! Eyyy Mariooo…
Jon: That’d be so uncomfortable.
Me: Why?
Jon: Because we’re both sweaty ass mother fuckers!
Me: Oh yeahhhh….

No go on the pleather.

Garfield?

No. A chicken?

No. Hmm…what to do?

Well, by the end of the day, we designed our own costumes with a tailor and I’m very excited to pick it up on Friday.

Bonfire on the beach at Dalu Island at night, with innumerable bottles of beer, pseudo-s’mores, and (literally) long walks on the beach (to get to the water, as it recedes at night).

Exploring Dalu Island, meeting fisherman on the beach and farmers on the mountain.

Beach at Dalu Island.

Seeing yet another Mao statue, this one at the Dandong train station.

Seeing the half-lit bridge that connects China and North Korea.

North Korea at night

On a boat on Yalu River to get a close-up of North Korea(‘s border).

There were three things that I will remember about Dandong. First, that besides the riverside, the city looks like (get this) every other Chinese city in the country.

Second, there’s this phenomenon that I experience here in China, where many many citizens always ask me, “Are you Korean?” Coming to Dandong, a city that borders North Korea and has a lot of Korean immigrants, I was surprised when people came up to me and asked, “Are you from North Korea or South Korea?” AnnyonghaseNO? I am surprised by the inability of Chinese people (surrounded by Koreans) to recognize Koreans and non-Koreans. Or at least, instead of asking whether I am A or B race (if you were so curious), you could ask what nationality I am. Though they never believe me when I tell them I’m American.

Lastly, and most strongly, I was struck by–and I’m sure any tourist that comes to Dandong–the stark difference of standards of living between the two sides of the Yalu River. You saw what North Korea looks like at night–almost completely black. I didn’t post a photo of China, but the half-lit bridge pretty accurately describes the state of development each state is in. Flashing neon lights floor the Chinese side of the river, signs of a bustling economy are prominent on the riverside, and people are dressed in whatever which fashion they wish. High-rise buildings are featured prominently, and cars bustle all over the streets. As mentioned before, it is just like any other Chinese city.

North Korea, on the other hand, was characterized by a sparsely populated, propagandized landscape. Signs proclaming, “Long Live Kim Jong-Il in the 21st Century!” were plastered on buildings. The clothing people wore matched, and were various shades of navy, olive, and brown. Guards watched over everything construction workers and fishers did on the border, some of them shooting dirty glances when I caught their faces with my camera. Children threw rocks towards our boat (perhaps in spite?) and yelled at us. Some people say that North Korea was China 25 years ago. I wonder how true that may be, and whether any hope lies for the North Koreans.

All the stores had big sales, people were all over the streets, and red flags were everywhere. I am not suprirsed that commercialization of holidays has reached developing countries such as China. I know that in the States, stores like Macy’s always broadcast their Memorial Day or 4th of July sales, but as to whether there a culture of commericalization in China has existed for a while, I have no researched answer. I have the notion that it began (and has since then snowballed) as China developed rapidly over the last twenty years or so.

But in all seriousness, a lot of people use this break to go home and visit family (and, while at home, sit around and study or play video games all day–sad). According to Wikipedia, every five years, the National Day celebration is out of control. Can’t wait to experience that next year.

For a few years now, February 14 has just been another day in my life. This year, it consists of a day where I avoid writing my thesis by readingthenews-cleaningthehouse-watchingtv/youtube-designingwebsites-postingonmyblog-replyingtoemails, where I forget to take my medication on time, where I worry about what in God’s name I will be doing after graduation.

But Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about sharing a day with your loved one, blah blah blah love love kiss kiss blah blah. Of course, I’m saying this as a bitter single individual who experiences a spark of disdain for those who have loved ones to meticulously plan their perfect Valentine’s date with. Perfect, perfect, perfect. It always has to be perfect. That’s setting the standard a little high, isn’t it? Think of the potential for damage. What are the chances that this significant other/date will be the one you spend your entire life with? If you have a nasty break up, think of all the subsequent Valentine’s Days that will be tainted with such a memory; you will find yourself slouched on the couch with a pint of Häagen-Dazs and re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy reminiscing of better days. Okay, so I’m being incredibly pessimistic about love. It’s hard to pull yourself together and greet the love and dating world with open arms when you’ve been smacked down by it so many times. No doubt, this has definitely been the year for me to be thrown around in the martini shaker of love.

As rough as those experiences were, it taught me that I don’t need a significant other to have a wonderful day, much less Valentine’s Day. My friends can always make me feel loved.

Aside from that, other highlights of my gastronomic tour of Europe so far include:
–Falafel at L’as du Fallafel
–Gigantic pistachio macaroon from Paul
–Duck confit and a gigantic salad with smoked salmon and foie gras at Le Relais Gascon
–Fig yogurt

The three of us, Ellen, Norris, and myself, hit the first slope. We were separated near the end but I recall hearing a, “Let’s meet at the bottom of the hill.” I stood there for fifteen minutes. Nothing. Perhaps they already went back up? I ride the lifts back up and wait for ten minutes. Long story short, it took me an hour, a long waddle to the car,  and five hundred phone calls to reunite.

The day ended well, though. Though I endured some monumental falls, including one where I got clipped by a skiier, and one where I caught an edge with my snowboard and flipped, knocking the wind out of myself, screaming, “Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuufffffffhhhhhhhhhhhhhhchhhh!!!!”

Oh, the day also ended with the miraculously speedy 3-hour car ride back home (I may or may not have been speeding) *and* delicious La Bamba.

*Upon hearing this, I thought of the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode when the weather man predicts thunderstorms and torrential rain to keep other golfers from going to the golf course.

I leave for Europe on Sunday–there’s still so much to do between now and then!