Cabbie: How old are you?
Me: 23.
Cabbie: And you’re not married yet?
Me: I don’t even have a boyfriend.
Cabbie: You don’t even have a boyfriend?!? I think it’s time you put less focus on your work life and focus on finding a husband and settling down. You should let the man take care of everything, then you can stay home and relax. How great would that be?
Me: Actually….
Cabbie: [continues to ramble on about men being breadwinners, women being homemakers]

Cabbie: You know why women would be bad doctors? Because they’re too emotional. Let me give you an example. A woman has breast cancer, goes into a woman doctor. This woman doctor may think to herself, “I want to let this woman keep as much of her womanly features as she can, because I know it is important to her identity as a woman. Thus, I’ll try to remove as little breast tissue as I can.” Men? They’re pragmatic. They think, “Cancer is bad, I will remove any remnant of cancer, regardless of what it takes.” Then just slice off everything. See? Then you never know, cancer may just come right back if a women operated.

Actually, I should have titled it “Being Lectured by a Misogynist Nanjing Cabbie,” because I didn’t really converse with him. It was more him talking at me than with me.

My roommate Julia and I have come to the conclusion that we have the best apartment out of all the Beijing Fulbrighters. Don’t believe us? 

The view from our apartment

One of our windows, with enough room to sit and watch the smog roll by

Excessively large bed

The thing to notice here is the OVEN.

And we live in close proximity to supermarkets, subway stations, and shopping areas. Take that, Wudaokou-ers (i.e., those who live in the NW part of Beijing where Tsinghua and Peking University are–but besides those two schools, there is nothing else there [except a lot of Koreans])!

I understand what the words that come out of your mouths mean. Want to watch a movie? It means you want to make out. Want to drink tea? It means you want to have sex. Want to come see my house? It means you want to have sex. It’s okay for you to cheat on your wife (and your child), because you have money and status symbols such an Audi and a vrooooom gas-guzzling Land Rover. It’s also okay to do anything you want, because you are a man.

You don’t have to get incite a physical fight with another man over me. Don’t bring baristas who work at your cafe along with you for a night of drinking to show your power over other people. And don’t let them do the fighting for you.

Stop being so clingy. You don’t have to call me 40 times a day (literally) and send me text after text. Much less to confirm whether I got your previous text. It does not work when you cry and tell me you love me, you love me, you really really love me. Showing your desperation really just makes me want to play with your emotions (forgive me). And seriously, if you really wanted to see me, you’d find some other way than through the phone.

I’ve had enough of you, kthxbi!

Sincerely,
Girl who needs her space. Really.

I felt cheated that people perceived America and Americans by the way George W. Bush and his administration conducted themselves in Washington and abroad. It is hard to convince people otherwise that not all of us are like (or even like) Bush given all they see and hear in the news, on television, and even in scholarly articles.

But, today, I couldn’t be prouder to be an American citizen. I will have a President who represents what I stand for. I am ready for change, as the past eight years of my life–my entire youth–have been tainted by the shadow of an inept leader and a conniving administration.

Obama’s presence and speeches often move me to tears. His words are so invigorating, selfless but responsible, uniting.

We may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction — towards a better future. (18 March 2008)

His political vision of a united and progressive America moves me, and he speaks candidly about the problems we as a nation face. He understands the difficulty and magnitude of these challenges, and accepts that he may not be able to solve them all. His personal history also inspires me. That an African-American with a humble past but an extraordinary passion can really change the world cannot epitomize the American Dream any more perfectly.

Although I am oceans away from where I wish I was last night, I could still hear the shouts of elation, see the smiles of relief and euphoria, feel the warmth of tears of so many Americans. I’m so completely drenched with optimism and hope that things will, indeed, change.

Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.

We are, and always will be, the United States of America.

Woof woof!

Provide[s] the body with sexual gratification after sexual acts: The hormone counteracts the effect of dopamine, which is responsible for sexual arousal. This is thought to cause the sexual refractory period. The amount of prolactin can be an indicator for the amount of sexual satisfaction and relaxation.

But…

Unusually high amounts are suspected to be responsible for impotence and loss of libido (see hyperprolactinemia Symptoms).

Fail? “Unusually high” is pretty vague.

*I hate that Wikipedia has become some beacon of “truth” for netizens.

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

I had always thought that their music (especially JL), although unique and transcendental in composition, still reverberated with situations and circumstances in everyday life. But it was tonight when I really felt that they connected with the audience members. They sing of the joys, the struggles that women and men face in relationships, both romantic and platonic. The way they sang their songs live nailed the emotions they tried to convey.

The crowd was amazing, too. I was seriously one of about ten or fifteen other Asians/non-black people in a 14,000 person crowd. Yet, I didn’t feel any different from anyone else. I joined other women in bemoaning how men got to basically cut the line because a) men and women were segregated for security checks. Since there were less men at the concert, it took much less time for them to get through security check. At other times, I sang and danced with everyone around me during our favorite songs (for me, it was all of them).

Even more importantly, I went to the concert with two good friends who are just as fun-loving and wonderful as everyone else! 

In short, it was an unforgettable evening and I couldn’t be happier.

Nevertheless, despite my ambitions, I still think about the complexities, paradoxes, and contradictions of my most recent escapade. How can you tell me we were moving too fast when twenty-four hours ago you were asking, “Are you on birth control?” Then, you advocate for taking a step back. Sure, sounds great, I agree, let’s do it. Then come the rules: no kissing, no touching, no this, no that. The next time we saw each other, we didn’t even hug. How’s that for toying with your emotions? Thoughts like these continue to bog me down, right when I least need this emotional burden.

Unfortunately, when I’m upset, I also shut down. I never get to voice my concerns because I don’t say what I feel when I feel it. I’m one of those “I-just-hung-up-after-an-important-interview-and-remembered-everything-I-was-supposed-to-say” types of people. Prying words out of me can be compared to pulling the sword out of the stone, except without that magic asshole named Arthur who pulls it out. Maybe one day when a magic asshole can pull the sword from the stone with me, I’ll know he’s the one. Unless he’s like 12-years-old and/or the future King of England (what can I say, the royal life just isn’t for me, though it’d make a great reality TV show).

I know the world won’t end. Maybe I used this situation as an excuse both justify a good cry and tell myself that I am ready to graduate and move on. While many others in this emotional state vow to never let a man take advantage of them again, shun all men as pigs, blah blah blah, I won’t. Does your swearing off men do anything to change their behavior? No, it just means they’re going to be fucking someone else.

Here’s to letting go and smiling again.