Dear Upper Respiratory Tract,
I have lived through 22 years of hayfever that God has so graciously granted me. Why do you also have to turn against me when it isn’t hayfever season? I was recently diagnosed by an allergist to have developed an allergy to dust (you know, those ubiquitous, inescapable particles that float around and settle on every living and inanimate thing) in addition to pollen.
After allergy/virus/bacterial infection was diagnosed, I have been asked to take:
a. antibiotics
b. nasal spray
c. antacids
d. antihistamines
e. asthma inhalers
So, if you could please expel whatever you need to expel from your system and let me carry on with my life, I would greatly appreciate it. This can be done very easily without having to react with violent coughing fits, restricted airways, and general shittiness. And please tell Phlegm to stop squatting in my esophagus.
Sincerely,
Girl who probably has a life expectancy of 30-years-old
a.k.a.
Girl who should probably live in an airtight bubble