quelquefois

I actually took a good look at myself in the mirror today, and I have some serious bags under my eyes. To say the least, I cannot wait until I can get my nightly 7 hours again. Okay, I lie. I rarely get to sleep that long, but I think I have finally succumbed to the truth that humans need sleep in order to prevent looking like death. Although it provided good training for times like these (thesis, exams, university life in general), I wish I had slept more in my adolescent years. To think, I could have been five-foot-FIVE!

As an aside, look at all these damn white people in terrorism studies. Can we get some representation up in here? (lolcat reference: I M N UR D.C., MAKIN UR LEGISLAYSHUN) Watch out D.C.!

My reward for finishing a chapter shall be sleep.

I’m so close…come on….

…until my first draft is due! I’m not sure of my exact page count–because a lot of it is still messy–but I am definitely over the 175-page mark. Holy shit, that’s book-length. I have four completed chapters; my fifth is destined (I can feel it) to be finished by early Sunday morning. The sixth will be written on Sunday, followed by a thorough read through of the entire thing. And again on Monday, then pop a copy in both of my advisor’s offices! BAM!

I can’t believe that I have spent almost 20 hours of each day of the past week working on this damn thing. After I turn in my thesis I still have to do so much (e.g., jobs, internships, photography, research paper [fuck...]…the list goes on)…

I am just about to reach the 150-page mark. I have approximately three completed chapters (of six), one that is almost there, and two blank documents. Of these, none have been revised, and all are desperately crying for revisions, proofreading, and logic.

Sometimes I wonder why I’m doing this. I wonder why I didn’t just do more work earlier (the question that no doubt will plague me for the rest of my life). Last night (night?) I slept at 9 a.m. and woke up at 2 p.m. The night before? 6 a.m. It would make sense just to sleep earlier so I can wake up earlier and continue working, but I often find that it is at 3 and 4 a.m. that I start to get on a roll. This is most likely attributed to my tendency to dilly-dally at the computer until I realise that it’s incredibly late.

I need discipline. Although I cannot bear to go several hours without checking the news, checking my e-mail (I actually turned off all Blackberry message notifications!), fantasizing about jobs, reading photography and design blogs, and posting in my own (oops), I have to abstain from distractions for six days (hey, when it’s put that way, six days is a lot to write….nevermind) until I turn in my first draft.