My last day in China, Saturday, September 4, was fraught with goodbyes-that-aren’t-really-goodbyes (we all hate finality), frustrations and sadness. In the morning, my friends came over and cleared out my electronics, blankets, sheets, cookware, silverware, dishes, spices, bicycles—anything that wasn’t going in my suitcase. In the afternoon, I cleaned out my Chinese bank account, exchanged everything to USD, and closed the account. Then came the challenges.

Challenge #1: Getting my rent deposit back from the landlady

Ah, the landlady, someone who is defined by her difficulty to understand and communicate with her tenants. Originally I was going to get my deposit back on Friday, but then she took it back. “What if I give you the money back, and by the time you leave Sunday, the apartment will be broken in half?” I reassured her that if I had lived in the apartment for 9 months without burning the place down, she could trust that I wouldn’t do it in the next 48 hours. Despite my efforts, she refused, citing that upon returning the deposit, I must return the keys and find somewhere else to live until I fly out. “This is how it is done in China. This is how it is always done in China.” I told her I could gladly wait until Sunday if she would like to come over to the apartment at 4am in the morning. We finally agreed on Saturday.

Despite promising to return my deposit around 3pm on Saturday, she procrastinated until 5:30pm, when she finally went to the bank to withdraw my cash. I told her that I needed to go to the bank to exchange the money into USD, and now it would be too late (banks close at 6:00pm). I asked her to do it for me: 1500 in RMB, 2880 in USD. She retorted, “What is this 2880? Why this number? You can’t make things difficult for me! I’m just going to exchange 2500RMB, if you have a problem with it, deal with it.” I told her 2500 is fine.

Five minutes later, she called, asking, “Do you have any more RMB? The bank just gave me 2500 in USD instead of changing 2500RMB into USD.” She refused to exchange it back into RMB because of the unfavorable exchange rate. I replied, “I’m sorry, I have no RMB. I already exchanged everything into USD.”

Karma?

Challenge #2: Getting the deposit back on my water tank (for the water cooler)

I called the water company at 3:00pm asking to come over and return the deposit on my water tank. He said to call at 6:00pm, when they’d be less busy. So I called then, and the employee there refused to come over to return the deposit, saying, “The boss isn’t here, I have no money. We can come on Monday.” I told him: a) I leave the country tomorrow so there are no other opportunities to come and b) it’s impossible for a business that works with cash transactions to not have money, and c) to scrounge up 50RMB for reimbursement when the boss returns. After 10 minutes of bickering on the phone he hesitantly agreed to return my money between 6:30 and 8:00pm. I told him that I do not have time to sit around and wait, and he basically told me to suck it up.

By around 8:00pm, I had already left the apartment and gave the water bottle and deposit receipt to the front desk. I then called the water company, who did not pick up (must be caller ID). I proceeded to call the water delivery man, who was saddened by my departure and was there within 10 minutes to return my deposit to the front desk. He called again, asking if we would ever see each other again, and wished me endless success and happiness in life. After this exchange went on indefinitely, mission: accomplished.

Challenge #3: Proving “Customer is the emperor”

For dinner, a friend and I went to a restaurant for a free meal due to points on a benefits card. Since we had just had a free meal last week with the same set menu, we asked the waiter if we could choose other things on the regular menu, such as sandwiches or salads or other entrées. He said yes, and I chose sea bass and a chocolate dessert (instead of red snapper and carrot cake).

By the end of the meal, he came over and brought over a check for 128.00RMB. He came over and explained, “You had only asked if you could exchange for a sandwich or salad, not another entrée. So this is why I am charging you.”
We asked, “Why didn’t you tell us you would charge us when we ordered the dish?”
“I am sorry about that. If it would be any better, you can pay for half of the price and I will use money out of my own pocket to pay for the other half.”
“Please bring the manager over.”
“Please, let us handle this between us. You can pay half and I will pay the other half, is that okay?” (Does this ever happen in the U.S.?)
“No, please bring the manager over.”
After, again, much bickering, the manager came, apologized for the mistake, and excused us from paying.

I am lucky that in the end everything worked out, but I wonder if it was worth the price of wasting so much time dealing with it. There is no doubt in my mind that I needed a break from living in China, but there is also no doubt that living there has taught me so much.

Beijing has an incredible response rate to snow. Immediately after the snow lets up, plows make their way down major roads and avenues to prevent traffic catastrophe (as we all know how bad traffic already is in Beijing); people are out on the streets with 13-foot-long sticks and shaking them in trees; and, most interestingly, teams of people are shoveling snow into trucks and carts. Those who usually collect garbage on the streets are instead collecting snow. Now my biggest question is–where do they take the snow?

56minus1 speculates this may have to do with Ai Weiwei joining Twitter. Lostlaowai says it has to do with that special 20th anniversary on Thursday.

Whatever the reason, this isn’t making my “I hate China” week any better.

Edit: an exhaustive list of all the websites “down for maintenance” has been compiled. Check it out here.

Many young Chinese couples, such as university students, if not living in 4-8 person dormitories at school, are living with their parents at home. If they have a boy or girlfriend, where are they to spend time together? Some opt for hotels that have hourly rates (often dubbed “love hotels,” a popular term in Japan and Korea), some alienate their roommates by fooling around in their dorm room, some wait until their parents aren’t home, and others opt for public spaces such as parks or behind buildings. It’s amusing (albeit also troublesome) that actions meant to be done in private are now done in public.

The dearth of privacy in China was aptly pictured last night on my bike ride home, when I saw a couple on one of the largest streets in Beijing, 建国门外大街, doing it behind some scaffolding. Nevermind all the cars driving by, but there were even construction workers working not even 100 meters away from the couple.

Photo via douban.

The culprits

Sincerely,
Girl who would kick your ass if you touched her artwork

Hotel staff (Chinese): May I have your 身份证 (shen1fen4zheng4, identity card)?
I hand over my passport.
Hotel staff: What is this? Where is the number?
Me: I don’t have a national identity card; that’s my passport. I’m an American citizen.
Hotel staff (to a co-worker): What do we do? Where’s the number? Where’s her name? What should we put?
Me: Can’t you just input my English name and passport number?
Hotel staff: You’re sure you’re not Chinese? Do you have any other form of identification? What’s your Chinese name?
I go on to show them my school ID from last semester, as well as my work ID, neither of which are acceptable. I have no idea what they ended up doing, but I have never seen anyone so confused to see an Asian wielding a foreign passport before.

Another woman was waiting to grab some toilet paper. She looked at me with astonishment and said, “What is she doing with all that toilet paper? Is she going to eat it?”

Well, it was funny to me at the time…