Beijing has an incredible response rate to snow. Immediately after the snow lets up, plows make their way down major roads and avenues to prevent traffic catastrophe (as we all know how bad traffic already is in Beijing); people are out on the streets with 13-foot-long sticks and shaking them in trees; and, most interestingly, teams of people are shoveling snow into trucks and carts. Those who usually collect garbage on the streets are instead collecting snow. Now my biggest question is–where do they take the snow?

56minus1 speculates this may have to do with Ai Weiwei joining Twitter. Lostlaowai says it has to do with that special 20th anniversary on Thursday.

Whatever the reason, this isn’t making my “I hate China” week any better.

Edit: an exhaustive list of all the websites “down for maintenance” has been compiled. Check it out here.

Many young Chinese couples, such as university students, if not living in 4-8 person dormitories at school, are living with their parents at home. If they have a boy or girlfriend, where are they to spend time together? Some opt for hotels that have hourly rates (often dubbed “love hotels,” a popular term in Japan and Korea), some alienate their roommates by fooling around in their dorm room, some wait until their parents aren’t home, and others opt for public spaces such as parks or behind buildings. It’s amusing (albeit also troublesome) that actions meant to be done in private are now done in public.

The dearth of privacy in China was aptly pictured last night on my bike ride home, when I saw a couple on one of the largest streets in Beijing, ??????, doing it behind some scaffolding. Nevermind all the cars driving by, but there were even construction workers working not even 100 meters away from the couple.

Photo via douban.

Man: Wow, people who speak English! (then he looks at me) Both of you!
Jules: Yeah, where are you from?
Man: I’m from New York. (directed at Jules) China is great, isn’t it?

Then he proceeds to look at me as if he was saying, “Your country is great!”

I hate that all white people in China think you can’t speak English. And if that isn’t enough, Chinese people don’t believe I speak English well (nor do they think I speak Chinese well enough, either).

Where do I belong in China? Where do I belong in the world?

Man: ?????????. (I had a green floral vegetable.)
Me: ????(Broccoli?)
Man: ?????????????????????????(Wow, yeah! How did you know? I didn’t think you knew how to say it in Chinese.)
Me: ?????(Are you kidding me?)

???, x? lán hu?: n. broccoli

Who doesn’t know how to say “broccoli” in Chinese? Even foreigners learning their first year of Chinese know how to say it. Is this a jab at my intelligence? Should I be making fun of him for not being able to fit into regular pants (he’s a student at an athletic university in Beijing, and I think his legs are too ?, thick, to fit into anything but sweatpants)? Should I make fun of him for his st-st-st-stutter?

No, I won’t reduce myself to his level. I’ll just stop picking up his phone calls. I didn’t come to China to have my intelligence underestimated and to feel bad about my body when there’s nothing wrong.

The culprits

Sincerely,
Girl who would kick your ass if you touched her artwork

Hotel staff (Chinese): May I have your ??? (shen1fen4zheng4, identity card)?
I hand over my passport.
Hotel staff: What is this? Where is the number?
Me: I don’t have a national identity card; that’s my passport. I’m an American citizen.
Hotel staff (to a co-worker): What do we do? Where’s the number? Where’s her name? What should we put?
Me: Can’t you just input my English name and passport number?
Hotel staff: You’re sure you’re not Chinese? Do you have any other form of identification? What’s your Chinese name?
I go on to show them my school ID from last semester, as well as my work ID, neither of which are acceptable. I have no idea what they ended up doing, but I have never seen anyone so confused to see an Asian wielding a foreign passport before.

Another woman was waiting to grab some toilet paper. She looked at me with astonishment and said, “What is she doing with all that toilet paper? Is she going to eat it?”

Well, it was funny to me at the time…